It is what it is…
“How to be happy when you are miserable. Plant Japanese poppies with cornflowers and mignonette, and bed out the petunias among the sweet-peas so that they shall scent each other. See the sweet-peas coming up.
Drink very good tea out of a thin Worcester cup of a colour between apricot and pink…”
~Rumer Godden
I have always been one for simple pleasures. Even when i’m stressed or upset, I can find delight in a good meal, a cool or warm breeze, pretty flowers, a good glass of sweet tea, etc.
It’s in my nature to have anxiety….but it’s also in my nature to experience excitement in the little things. I try my best to laugh as much as I can, be as creative as I can, and be aware of it all…the good and the bad…the lessons to be learned in both the good and the bad days. With my ‘milestone’ birthday coming up, I’m even more aware of what kind of life I want to live….how I want to be ready and say ‘God take me’ when life choose it’s time for me to go. I realize that there is so much more to experience….but for me if i can say i did pursue my dreams of being creative for a living, and i brought as much of that to my life as possible then i will be okay no matter when my day comes. it’s about the quality, not quantity of life.
By the way…
This is my horoscope for this week from Free Will Astrology . How appropriate for my cleaning up phase and setting myself free! I just came across it and had to add a post note for the previous entry.
“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free,” said the sculptor Michelangelo about a statue he made. Let that approach be your guide in the coming weeks, Leo. Proceed according to the hypothesis that the beautiful thing you want to create is embedded in stuff that’s hiding its true nature, and your job is simply to liberate it from what’s extraneous.
simplify
I am cleaning out my clothes, art room, kitchen, everywhere….selling or getting rid of it all. I am done with ‘stuff’. It takes over your life, leaving you with no room to play or grow. I have loaded my car twice now, and will probably go another time to unload all of this stuff at my friend’s house for the yard sale tomorrow. The more I put in yard sale boxes, the more i want to get rid of.
It’s liberating, but also a scary feeling to acknowledge and give into the notion that we are not owned by our things…they don’t define who we are. How many of us could live in a bare house with only the bare necessities of what we need? no unnecessary clothes, accessories, furniture, books, games, movies, etc.
I think i would be okay with most of it….but i sure do love my fun accessories…i basically wear tank tops and jeans/shorts everyday with flip flops, so i live for the earrings, bags, jewelry that spice it up.
It will be interesting to come home tomorrow with my house cleaned out. Right now i’m torn with getting rid of some of my kitchenware….colorful plates, bowls, cups, mugs….but the truth is i dont’ need it. I am in part doing this ‘cleaning house’ thing for extra money, to simplify, but also as a test for myself. How will i feel without all this ‘stuff’ to define me?
“It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly.” ~Bertrand Russell
A Soul Alive
“If a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you…rejoice, for your soul is alive.”
~Eleonora Duse
A Spirited Woman
A Spirited Woman Dangle Earrings, originally uploaded by celisa.
“There is in every true woman’s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity” ~Washington Irving
I have been thinking about all the women in my life….how most of them are already married or are getting married, had/having kids, in long relationships….and I am here, single, unattached, living out my whims of being creative, doing what i want to when i want to do it, unobligated to do anything i don’t want to do. It’s interesting that for the first time in my life I don’t have single girl friends to just call up and go have a drink, or take a spontaneous road trip, etc. I find myself growing stronger within myself with less people to distract me. I talk less, and contemplate more. I figure things out more for myself rather than talking it out with a close friend.
Now i know that there is nothing like having girl friends to share your life with….i do miss the giggling, and ridiculousness that my life always used to be. but i am surprised to find that the strength i once got from my friends, was in me the whole time.
Emily’s First Look at the Ocean
Emily’s First Look at the Ocean, originally uploaded by celisa.
unfortunately Emily, my friend’s youngest daughter, did not take too well to the ocean…in fact i think she was miserable the entire time we were physically on the beach. she preferred to lay in the shade, out of the sand, and as far away from the crabs as possible.
this seems to be a metaphor for how these past few weeks have been for me. quiet, hermetic, keeping my distance from those around me, silently waiting it out. there is much to be said for silence…..there is also much to be said for temper tantrums that tell everyone around us we are not happy with our current conditions.
that said, i will wait this phase out…being creative as possible….while planning my next move.
“Whereas speaking distracts, silence and work collect thoughts and strengthen the spirit:” ~St John of the Cross
